Not So Common Sense

Random thoughts on random acts, from the mind of author Gavin Kingsley

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Birthday

T-minus 2 days and counting…

 You were born on Monday on March 8th, 1982 and you think this is your oldest day of your life history but you are sadly wrong. Let’s surprise you:

 2.May.1981, Saturday, (Your birthday -310 days):

On 2.May.1981, Saturday, your father has produced the semen that will be half of you soon.He produced 1000 sperms every second of his life and you will be be lucky one out of 500 million sperm he sent on their way in the conceivement. You may find interesting to know that if he had drunk (or not drunk) coffee on this Saturday morning, you might born completely as someone else (for instance in the opposite sex) as kafein changes the speed of male sperms.

17.May.1981, Sunday (Your birthday -295 days):

Today your mother ad her last menstrual cycle and started building up the egg, that will be the other half of you.After today, she will not have this cycle again for a very long time (thanks to you!). She spent Sunday as moody, anxious, short-tempered and you should be glad, you were not around her that day!

1.June.1981, Monday (Your birthday -280 days):

Your mother’s egg is ready to build the other half of you and your father and your mother got together to make you.But there is still no “you” around so don’t get excited much. It can take several hours for your father’s sperm to reach your mother’s egg and now it is just on its way out.

2.June.1981, Tuesday (Your birthday -279 days):

Out of 500 million sperm on their way to your mother’s egg, the sperm which built you has won the race by coming first and the sperm and the egg is became one to make your very first cell. Do you see how lucky your half (the sperm) be by winning coming up first among 500 million other rivals? Never tell you are not lucky anymore!We can call Tuesday, 2.June.1981 as your “first day alive” because this is when you are a living entity, an embryo, congratulations! Although you are just a 1 cell creature today your unique DNA is also formed so your future destiny like your sex, height, physical apperance, intelligence, characteristic and vulnability to certain dissesases is already been determined.

16.June.1981, Tuesday (Your birthday -265 days):

If your mother is an intelligent women, she would have suspected that she is pregnant at 16.June.1981, Tuesday. She is not very sure yet but she is suspicious. We hope she was excited and joyed, not worried.

23.June.1981, Tuesday (Your birthday -258 days):

Today your mother is telling your father about her pregrancy and he is celebrating to be a daddy!Day 23.June.1981, Tuesday is also important in that, your heart has pumped for the first time today. We don’t know if it is a coincedence that your father learned about you in the very day, your heart first pumped!

7.September.1981, Monday (Your birthday -182 days):

Your parents could have lawfully got an abortion until 7.September.1981, Monday so this is also an important day of your life. Today they decided you should live!We are glad they didn’t otherwise, we’d lose one site visitor in

8.March.1982, Monday(Your birthday):

You are born to a cruel world. Happy birthday little buddy! We hope you remember to enjoy your life which was a big journey from day minus 310 to today.

Source: Poke My Birthday